One in a Million

Sunday, September 14, 2008

After confirming our date at 12, our hostess, Miranda (all names have been changed to protect the innocent) said she'd by home by 1 and to come on by then for some fun in the pool. Poor Duke had been stuck in the car for 2 hours while I dragged him around on a myriad of errands. We timed it so that we arrived at 1:10. Miranda's husband John opened the door (he is a work-from home dad). We were invited in and told to make ourselves at home, but no, Miranda wasn't home. Jonas, Duke's date, wasn't there either, so I assumed he and Mommy had run out and would be back in a bit.
We made our way to the bathroom to get our suits on. After spending some time playing with their cool frog tub-spout cover and checking out their sports ball cabinet pulls, we hear voices in the house and come out prepared to swim.
But it isn't Miranda, it's the nanny, and Jonas is in the highchair having a popsicle. So Duke and I cozy up in the play room, expecting any minute to hear our hostess' arrival. The nanny and Jonas join us a short time later, and the nanny is a little hard to make conversation with. She obviously has no idea who we are or why we're there, and I didn't enlighten her. At 1:45, I text Miranda to find out where she is, and while I am having the time of my life hanging with the nanny, I really came to see her. She was dropping off her car that had been recalled and was getting a ride back as we spoke.
10 minutes later she's there, 2 after that Duke's been pushed into the cabinets by Jonas and another 2 and tears are dried and we're all ready for the pool. Jonas has decided that he'd like to go skinny dipping, so Mom gives an explicit instruction about informing her when he needs to go potty (do you see where this is going?). She sets him in the pool where he promptly watches himself pee. 2 minutes later, repeat. 1 minute later, repeat.
This doesn't really bother me; I mean let's be realistic. Any one of us who has swam in a public pool has swam in pee. And if we're really honest, we might admit to having let loose once or twice oursleves. So whatever. I'm in the pool (it's so hot out) and Duke is roaming around the pool deck. Kailey their big lab is barking furiously inside, angry at being left out of the water fun. Jonas climbs back in and makes the pee face, only this time.....
That's right, he drops a big load of poo in the pool. Amidst the screaming and laughing, we abandon the pool. Miranda tries to get a diaper on the not-quite-finished-going-to-the-bathroom Jonas. She runs inside and as she does, Kailey takes the opportunity to bolt by her and jump directly in the poop water.
Profusely apologizing, she suggest we move venues down the road to her mom's house. She calls to clear it, we get just dried enough (and diapers on!) to drive over when we realized the play date is "officially" doomed (like none of these other things were signs).
When she dropped off her work car, she forgot to get her car seat. So Duke and I headed home, sure that there will never be another play date like this!!!!