Truth In Advertising

Saturday, July 18, 2009

(*if you have an aversion to hearing about natural bodily functions, do not read this*)

Fiber. It's the buzzword these days. Lots of people believe that most illnesses and diseases start from problems in the digestive track. Some companies have made products to help getting your daily dose more palatable, especially if your normal diet doesn't include much of the green stuff or home-cooked anything.

Let me give you a little piece of advice:
If someone offers you a Fiber One bar, run away. And if someone you know has eaten one in the last 24 hours, run far away, fast.

Sadly, these bars taste absolutely delicious. My mom gave me one to try yesterday. I was really surprised at how good it was. I added it to my grocery list for my weekly shopping. But then, a few hours later, it happened. The. Worst. Gas. EVER. Frequency, force and nastiness. Not only did my little bar come with these goodies, it also felt as if I had eaten 4 cups of very absorbent cardboard that had suddenly swelled up like our wood laminate flooring after a heavy rain. My mom had been suffering similar symptoms; I know knew what they were from.

(As a side note, my apologies to anyone who tried to shop at Target this morning and found that the location had been evacuated. Since I have pledged abstinence, I can assure you that this will not happen again; at least not because of me.)

Granted, I eat a lot of vegetables. I mean a lot. And I take a fiber supplement, eat whole grains, etc. So perhaps this "35% of my RDA" just put me way over the top. WAAAAAAY over.

Surely my mother and I can't be the only ones of you out there who've had trouble with these. Yes, they are delicious and I hear the chocolate flavor ones are great, but please, do yourself and your house mates a favor. Eat some veggies instead.