" 'Quote' of the Day"

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

     After sitting in front of the computer and getting a chance to read a friend's blog and her "Reflections on Mothering", it reminded me of some things that I had been feeling this week, and brought to light some things that had been hidden.  She talked about how she always thought she'd be like her mom, and the other ideas she had about motherhood, which are so strong in us until we have a child and have to adjust.  I remember being pregnant when everyone was a harbinger of doom, telling us "oh, you wait, you'll see" and things of the sort.  That we'd never have a shower or breakfast.  That a night's sleep was a thing of the past.  That our kids would bicker and not get along, and what a headache they'd cause us.  From everything people said, we wondered if they were lying or stupid, since they all had multiple children and it sounded like they didn't enjoy having kids at all.  In general there wasn't a lot of joy in any of them and they really didn't see their kids as a blessing.  I swore to be different.
     Now just 3 years later, I find that I too am falling into the trap of blasting those dewy-eyed moms-to-be with a hard dose of reality.  And probably making it sound a bit worse than it is, so I can feel like I'm doing something hard, surviving in the trenches, being a super mom of sorts and not just baking cookies and coloring and playing all the time.  But really, I am playing all the time.  I get a full night sleep every night (well, other than the occasional insomnia, but not due to the kids).  I can take a shower anytime, even if my kids are awake.  Yes, there's a lot of "training" thrown it, which on some days really takes it out of me, but on the whole I'm as fulfilled as I've ever been.
     Which leads into the sleep-chasing thought I had the other night: Lilly will be a toddler soon.  I loved the toddler times, even though they were excruciating! They were so much fun, even though I said “No” about 300 times a day for 6-9 months (that felt like 2, no, 5, years when you’re pregnant on top of that). And then all of a sudden you’ve got a little boy who is a little person, who you can relate to and have conversations with and who makes these crazy observations about the world. So why am I so dreading the toddler years with Lilly?!
     Ha, well she’s a girl, which intrinsically frightens me. (more on that below) She has this darling little look that says “I’m up for anything, especially trouble.” And frankly, my world is pretty ordered right now.  It's as predictable as possible considering I'm dealing with two small children, that is. And we all know I love order and control!!!
     I'm just praying that God gives me wisdom on how best to handle her, so that she can emerge on the other side a happy, good little girl whom I have a relationship with like her brother.

     As I was reading some of Erma Bombeck's books, I was struck by this one passage that sums up EXACTLY what I've been trying to put into words about girls and boys.  The chapter was about which is harder, girls or boys.  There were letters from readers (I have no idea if they were real or not), which all said the same thing.  Who is the hardest to raise?  Girls.  As she states, with boys everything is right there on the surface, from the flies over the wastebasket to the smelly socks.  Girls are more expensive. When you ask a boy what that noise was upstairs he replies "'Joey threw the cat down the clothes chute. It was cool.'  When (my) daughter is upstairs playing with her dolls I yell 'What are you girls doing?' and she sweetly replies 'Nothing'.  Later I find out they're making cookies with my new bath powder and expensive moisturizer."
[This was really a conundrum for me on how many quotation marks and of what kind to put in since I'm quoting someone's work who was quoting someone quoting someone.  I'm going to just leave it be, since if anyone is reading this, you won't know if it's right anyway.]